Lost & Found: My Manifestation Story
For the last 10 months, I've been quietly studying all things manifestation and law of attraction. I've taken workshops, read several different books, watched videos and listened to podcast interviews with various people.
Some days, I'd have an audiobook on in the background while I was home with my kids. I'd play it over and over again, really absorbing every word. And over time, I grew to fully believe that I do create my life and that the Universe / Spirit / God (whatever you want to call it!) is listening and responding to me. It was liberating to realize that I can choose the life I want to live. I finally released my passive, victim consciousness ("things happen to me") and instead, chose a more active role: Things happen for me and with me.
I did experience a few conscious manifestations over the last year. Our house in Asheville, a training that I wanted to attend, and some furnishings in our house, among other things. But it was kind of inconsistent and I had lingering doubts that would show up every now and then. That is what makes the following story so significant. It came at the perfect moment, in the perfect way, to really solidify everything I had learned up until this point.
In late May, we lost our favorite baby carrier -- a blue and grey handwoven cotton meh dai. Ooooh, we loved this carrier and we were deeply upset when it disappeared (who remembers my Instagram post?!). We retraced every step that we had taken on our last day with the carrier, but it never turned up. I remember surrendering to the loss, knowing that there was some reason that it was no longer with us. Maybe we were making room for a new carrier, or maybe someone found it who might need it more than us. Whatever the case, I trusted that everything was right as it should be.
One Month Later...
A few days ago, I randomly told my partner that I wanted to go to "church" on Sunday. "Church" for us is The Center for Spiritual Living -- a New Thought community based on the teachings of Ernest Holmes. We had only been there one time and I honestly didn't love it, so it really surprised me when I suddenly felt this strong urge to go back. I didn't question it though. I just knew that's where I needed to be.
So, the four of us drove to the Center on Sunday morning.
We parked the car and I put Ruby in my stretchy baby wrap. As we walked up the stairs to the building, I was fiddling with my wrap. Then, an image of our favorite meh dai popped into my head. I thought about it for a few seconds, wishing it were with me, but the thought quickly evaporated as we approached the door.
Right before we walked in, I thought, "God! Give me a sign! Show me!" I don't know what sparked those words. Maybe it was my excitement to be there, or my desperation after many months (ok, years) of struggling in nearly every area of my life. Either way, I held that intention and it was powerful.
We split up that morning. Tyler took the kids to the nursery and I went alone to the service. (They call it a "celebration"!)
It lasted about an hour. There was singing and dancing and affirmations, and a wonderful guest speaker. I kept noticing little "signs" and every word spoken felt like it was spoken for me. I was even brought to tears more than once, as I was reminded of my connection to Source.
When it was over, I met Tyler and the kids in the lobby. He had this weird look on his face and then I saw it -- THE CARRIER! He told me that he had spotted it in a corner of the nursery just as they were leaving to come meet me!
This is when I just felt a wave of gratitude wash over me. Not for the carrier itself, but for receiving the "sign" that I had asked for. I was in tears! Everything I had studied -- everything that I knew intellectually -- had brought me to this moment, where I was able to actually experience and embody it as my truth.
It made no logical sense for the carrier to be there. I know the last day I had it, and we weren't at the center on that day.
And it made no logical sense for me to spontaneously decide to go to the center on this particular Sunday.
But this was beyond logic. This was my miracle! And the most magical, cheesy, beautiful part of all of this? I found so much more than just my carrier that day. I found FAITH. Real, unshakeable faith.